Sanity 505
By: Ardeliah Longbottom

1. What plans have you considered to get more lost Gryffindors to return to the Common Room?

Missa: I've just started assuming they aren't lost, they're just lazy and there's no hope.

Joel: I'm a nice person. I'll start with blackmail. Then proceed with bribery. Torturing is my last resort.

Zenix: Whips, chains, teleporting into other house common rooms and trading first years for various things. First Year Black Market Ring. Know it, live it, be afraid.

Sir Nick: Polietly informing them that if they do not return to the Common Room and be good, active students, I shall give them a 5 hour speech on what honor, respect, and responsibility is. I am a ghost, 5 hour speeches are like eating cherry pie for us.

Violet - The Fat Lady's Friend: ... Nick, you're dead, you can't even eat cherry pie. Pathetic excuse for an Englishman. I'd just chill with the Fat Lady, who I call Flady, and drink copius amounts of wine.

2. Have you noticed an increase in Butterbeer dependance among your fellow staff during this time of rebuilding?

Missa: What staff? Most of mine are underage so I can't say I've seen anything...

Joel: What? Do you have anything against butterbeer?

Zenix: Psh. It's not dependence. We need constant Butterbeer to keep us sane from the likes of you all!

Sir Nick: As a ghost, I do not waste my time noticing such trivial things...But Violet is looking rather glazed over in her frame.

Violet - The Fat Lady's Friend: Uhm. No. I have heard of no such thing! That is blasphemy! *Hiccup*

3. Fangirls - Are they completely batty and require locking up in a nice padded cell or does the world need more of them?

Missa: Always depends on what you're fangirling over. If it's sparkly and a vampire, then kill them all.

Joel: *nods in agreement at Missa* YES, KEEL THEM ALL! *reloads her air rifle*

Zenix: Well, obviously, padded cells are ineffectual since we broke the padded walls. Plan B? XD

Sir Nick: What are... 'fangirls?'

Violet - The Fat Lady's Friend: I like fangirls. Gives Flady and me somethin' to gossip about.

4. We love our friendly ghosts, but do you think Sir Nick could use a fashion update? Should we have our own version of what not to wear, HOL style?

Missa: If you think you could get clothes to stay on a ghost...

Joel: By all means, do eeet. He's an eye sore!

Zenix: I think we should send Nick to 'What Not To Wear' and see what happens. I am all for that.

Sir Nick: What is this?! My fashion sense is perfectly fine! High-fringed collars extending to the ears were all the rage in the 1400's!

Violet - The Fat Lady's Friend: YES. AMEN. YES, PLEASE.

5. How many bodies do you have stacked up in the Forbidden Forest of students who were foolish enough not to sign up instantly when the new Common Room was ready?

Missa: I'm under no legal obligation to answer that question. The real question would be how many people have I stacked up for their inability to read the rules on how to CORRECTLY sign up for the common room.

Joel: There are bodies in the Forbidden Forest? WHERE? WHICH WAY? *dashes off to the forest to fangirls the bodies*

Zenix: ... Under Wizarding Code 342: No staff is required to release the information of how many bodies they have stashed in any container, area, or closet. There.

Sir Nick: I've floated over the forest a good few times... I haven't seen any bodies...

Violet - The Fat Lady's Friend: I know Missa has, at least, 7 in there right now. Well hidden, so, of course, you wouldn't see them, Nick. Aren't you like 700 years old. Have you not caught on yet?!