For a typical witch, approximately between the ages of 20 and 30, everyday life in Japan is pretty exciting for many, many reasons. The average witch spends about half of her day fangirling (or fan-witching) over certain Japanese idols, such as Yamashita Tomohisa and Kamenashi Kazuya. These idols are part of Johnny’s Entertainment (JE for short), a talent agency in Japan. Although these idols are known in the muggle world as well (because really, who can resist them?!), they are, in fact, of the wizarding world and thus, are totally fan-witch worthy. How are these stunning men possibly from the magical world, you may ask? Let’s take a look at three of the most popular groups within JE: NEWS, Arashi, and KAT-TUN.

When looking at NEWS, the favorite band of our wonderful Head Girl and Prefect in Charge, Missa Matz, it becomes clear that these talented singers are definitely not muggles. Yamashita Tomohisa, more commonly known among fan-witches as simply Pi, is an easy one. How could a muggle ever possibly look so gosh darn gorgeous?! (Word has it he may possess a bit of veela in him, but no one knows for sure…) Whatever the case may be, we sure enjoy staring and drooling watching him perform! Tegoshi Yuya, whose hair changes colors faster and more often than a chameleon on caffeine, can really only be described as a metamorphmagus. Another member, Masuda Takahisa is obviously a wizard because anyone who has seen the outfits he wears can testify that he lacks a muggle’s sense of style when it comes to wearing anything but wizarding robes. A fourth (out of six) members, Koyama Keiichiro, due an accident in his childhood revolving around a permanent babbling potion, can't seem to stop talking. Luckily this means that NEWS has a spokesperson, even if half the time you can't catch what he's saying seeing as he's talking so fast. Believe it or not, the name NEWS really doesn’t stand for “North East West South” as muggle fans are led to believe; it, in fact, stands for Nihon Exhibits Wizarding Sensations! (Note: Nihon is the Japanese word for Japan)

As far as the group Arashi goes, really there is only one thing to say about all of them: the complimentary punch that is offered at every concert? Yeah. Think again. Matsumoto Jun and Aiba Masaki routinely spike the punch with love potions. How else do you think everyone adores them despite the group’s inability to dance? They are excellent singers, as long as they have a group dynamic going, but really, if you've never been to a concert, be glad that you've not been subjected to the love potion. Because they can't dance and should give up trying.

Finally, we come to KAT-TUN. Well, clearly, Kamenashi Kazyua is in possession of a time-turner, since only a certain Missa Matz can possibly handle the workload he takes upon himself and finishes with such dedication. Taguchi Junnosuke, also known as simply Junno, must be on the new crack! Fizzing Whizzbees, as this is the only feasible explanation for his overly hyperactive-ness that occurs during every single performance. Really. We’re talking about super-spazzing-to-the-max. It’s almost scary. In that deliciously amusing kind of way. Lastly, Akanishi Jin. Despite his baka-ness, he strives to learn various languages, such as English, mermish and gobbledegook so that he no longer has any problems with carshrimp and other attempts at speaking a language he has not perfected. Furthermore, his baka-ness is probably a result of enormous amounts of love potions sent by Jenny Lupin his hyper-sensitive collar bone being tickled one too many times by his fellow band members (See? Overusing ‘Rictusempra’ can have serious repercussions). Finally, we have KAT-TUN's greatest cause, Tanaka Koki. Though a very decent rapper, shortly ago he accidentally didn't duck quickly enough from a failed potions experiment, leading to fan-witches world-wide to donate to the "Koki needs an invisibility cloak for his hair" fund. As you can see, all of these stunning individuals are extraordinary wizards who have a habit of making the hearts of all their fan-witches go dokidoki.

There are of course, other bands, Kinki Kids, SMAP, V6, and so many others, but they aren't the focus of this current events essay. Though most current would be Hey! Say! JUMP, except they don't count because the majority of them still haven't hit puberty and therefore can't sing or dance.

Another portion of the average witch’s day is spent planning ways to steal these sexy wizards all for her own. This usually involves many experiments with love potions, invisibility cloaks, and even stink pellets and dungbombs to clear out a crowd of muggle fangirls. Reportedly only one witch has ever been successful enough to win the heart of one of these wizards, and that would be the talented Missa Matz. By using her wand to conjure enough amazing food to distract Pi, Missa was able to finagle her way through the security guards with an invisibility cloak. After taking off her invisibility cloak in front of Pi, he was awed and completely enthralled with her since he has a thing for red and purple hair. So yes, because of this one success, every witch spends hours each day trying to succeed, too.

The last part of the day is spent with attending some school or work… while fan-witching, of course. No amount of work or study is complete without frequent breaks to stare at the pretty faces and sexy hips of these illustrious wizards.