BOTHER BOTHER BOTHER!
Pester Bother Annoy Ask Professor Snape Questions

Dear Snape,
Do you love Harry Potter? I've always noticed that you give him a large amount of attention. I can't help but notice that you always seem to bring attention to him. Is this fair for the rest of us students who are trying to do our best but keep getting interrupted by your displays?
-Observant

Observant,
You are really not all that observant are you? You live in your own little twisted world where fantasy reigns supreme. I believe your problem is that you are an attention seeker. If you don't get the attention you want, you whine and complain until someone notices. Oh time to go, I have better things to do.
- Snape

---------

Dear Snape,
Which magical sports do you like? Do you enjoy and muggle sports?
-Sports Freak

Sports Freak
I believe you may be the most idiotic person I've met.
- Snape

---------

Dear Professor Snape,
I do believe that one time you told me that a Kappa was found in Mongolia. I just wanted to write you a letter telling you that you were quite wrong. The Kappa is actually found in Japan.
-Studius

Studius,
I was merely testing you. Obviously you have your nose stuck so far into a book that you never see the light of day. I am surprised you pulled your nose out of your book to write that brief letter. Truly, you are in need of some time away from you books. So you will be spending a nice Saturday evening down in the potions dungeon, scrubbing out each person's cauldron without magic. Actually, you only get soapy water. No muggle cleaning agents. Have a good day.
- Snape

---------

Dear Snape,
Does the smell that you give off come from many years of potion making, or is it just natural? I'm just curious because I wondered if there was a cure. If there is, why haven't you sought it out? With your nose I'm sure you can smell it to, or have you become too accustomed to it to notice?
-Really Nosey

Really Nosey,
I believe the fact that your nose is so large is the reason you seem to have a hyper sense of smell. I've not had students asking me that question before so that leads to the conclusion that you are a moron. That being said, you now get the pleasure of cleaning out the sewage system without magic.
- Snape

---------

Dear Snape,
I was just asked to go to the Three Broomsticks by someone I do not care for. Unfortunately, I have problems telling people no. What is your advice on what to do in this situation?
-Desperate

Desperate,
Fake your death.
- Snape

---------

Have a problem that you want to ask Snape? Simply email him at missabeechan@yahoo.com with the subject Dear Snape and your problem will be answered. * Please note: Do not send real problems, only fake ones. We here at Paw Print are in no way qualified to help with real life problems and are very sarcastic in our responses. Thank you.