Dear Professor Snape,
How do you get your hair so oily?
I am trying to dress up as you for a costume party and I cannot get my hair quite at oily as yours.

-Costume Queen

Costume Queen,
Didn't you know my dear? It takes years to develop my hair this way. Mostly it is due to genetic make-up. However, I do suggest that you do not try and dress up as me, if only for the fact that if I catch you doing it, you will receive detention. Other reasons that you shouldn't dress up as me are as follows: You'd never pull it off. You would look completely ridiculous. You are most likely female and that's just sick. And lastly, because not in a million years would you be able to pull off the perfect Snape impression.

- Snape

Dear Professor Snape
I think you are the coolest Professor ever and I hope that one day I can almost reach the greatness you have obtained.

- Impressed

PS: APRIL FOOLS!

Dear Impressed,
DETENTION!

- Snape

Dear Professor Snape,
I have been here a couple years and there is one thing that I am curious about. Where do the teachers sleep? Do you sleep on the dungeon floors? Isn't it cold? Is that why you have that nasally voice?

- Curious

Dear Curious,
You shall forever remain curious because I will not completely answer your question. I do not, however, sleep on the dugeon floor so I would not know if it is cold or not. However, for asking such a ridiculously stupid question you have detention. And the detention is: Sleeping on the dungeon floor for one week, but only after you scrub it with a toothbrush.

- Snape

Have a problem that you want to ask Snape? Simply email him at missa@gundamwing.net with the subject Dear Snape and your problem will be answered. * Please note: Do not send real problems, only fake ones. We here at Paw Print are in no way qualified to help with real life problems and are very sarcastic in our responses. Thank you.